A few weeks ago I was talking to an old friend. We were catching up on life, sharing the deep dark scary places of hope colliding with unbelief in our hearts — you know, doing what girls do. I told her about the scary things I sense God speaking into this new year of my life, she told me the risky prayers she’s praying and hopes she’s hoping for a spouse.
We processed together about what it looks like to live in the tension of believing God for specific things but holding them open handedly — knowing He is all knowing and all sovereign and all GOOD — but also knowing that He speaks things and we hold on to them, knowing that He who promised is faithful.
As we were talking, both of us in tears over the things we know God has promised that still feel so far off, she said, “I sometimes wonder if I’m just being a girl to be believing such specific things about my husband. Like maybe it’s not God, maybe it’s just me being a girl.”
I started thinking in that moment… wait a minute. But you are a girl.
I started thinking, maybe there is something to us “just being girls” in the ways we believe Him for specific things. Maybe it’s what He made us for.
I started thinking about how women are made in the physical to carry life inside of them — in secret, in the unseen — until finally it’s birthed. I started thinking about how that seems to be so much more true of what God made us for in the spirit.
To nurture dreams. To carry vision. To grow and care for and raise up the next wave of purpose and destiny in His kingdom in the secret, hidden places… until they’re birthed.
When I read my Bible, I realize how true it is that God is really into birthing the impossible through women.
I look at Sarah, barren for so many years, receiving a promise that she would mother kings of nations — eventually leading to the King of Kings. I look at Hannah, with the same story of barrenness, eventually giving birth to Samuel, who would anoint David as king. I look at Esther, the least likely to be a queen, taking her appointed-by-God seat that would end up being the key to delivering an entire people group. I look at Mary, young and virgin and probably terrified by the angelic visitation that told her she would mother the Son of God. Yet she says, “I am your handmaiden. Be it unto me as you have spoken.”
God wasn’t handing out second class promises to these women. He wasn’t just giving them positions of favor or the babies they wanted because it would make them look better — although back then, it certainly would up their status in the community if they could bear children.
He was birthing the very destiny and purpose of our entire existence through them.
Jesus, our Rescuer, was eventually going to come from all of those impossible pregnancies and the outrageously risky belief of women who heard God speak and said, “I believe you.”
There is something of the plans and purposes and destiny of God and His people that He made only women to carry.
All of these thoughts raced through my mind as my friend talked through her, “Maybe I’m just being a girl” bit… so I stopped her.
“Hey, you are being a girl,” I told her. “And that’s exactly what you’re supposed to be.”
And maybe we get it wrong sometimes. Maybe we run after something that wasn’t God after all. But I think I’ve resolved in my heart that I’d rather contend for what I’m pretty sure I heard God say than sit around wondering if it was really Him.
For me, blind obedience & risky belief trumps safe unbelief every time.
I don’t know what you’re dreaming about. I don’t know what keeps you up at night, heart beating fast and mind racing with thoughts of what God might do with it. But I know that if He spoke it, there’s reason for you to keep believing. There’s reason for you to carry and grow and nurture that dream and destiny until the day He decides it’s time for its birth.
And maybe you’re like Noah, building an ark in the desert and everyone around you thinks you’re nuts. But if God said so, then that flood is coming. And sister, you better be ready when it does.
“Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald may run with it.
For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it will certainly come
and will not delay.”